


Selfish

by Pagedancer87



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 16:06:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13616850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pagedancer87/pseuds/Pagedancer87
Summary: For user: infinitegracesPrompt: Everlark without the Games AU—Games can never have existed or still exist, I’m just a sucker for “It would have happened anyway” ficsSummary: “It’s really okay for there to be times when you stop putting everyone else first, and just do what’s best for you.”





	Selfish

Title: Selfish

For user: infinitegraces

Prompt: Everlark without the Games AU—Games can never have existed or still exist, I’m just a sucker for “It would have happened anyway” fics

Summary: “It’s really okay for there to be times when you stop putting everyone else first, and just do what’s best for you.”

Rating: K+

A/N: All errors are belonging to me. Happy Birthday!

 

(%)(%)(%)

 

As a rule, Katniss Everdeen didn’t allow herself many things.

The first and last time she had asked for something, was the one thing she had ever regretted: to selfishly have her father with her on her birthday. It was a request shyly made, and gently denied, but he had wanted to surprise her. It had him going to work on a day he normally had off, which ended up being the day that he died. At eleven, watching her mother spiral into grief driven madness and her younger sister nearly starve to death, she blamed herself. From then on she vowed to put her family first.

It became the way she lived. Everything she did and every choice she made was for the benefit of her younger sister. Not only did it make her happy, it was also very easy.

 

Once in awhile, something came up that made her choices not so black and white.

 

The Careers Exchange Program, for example.

 

Their assigned counselors, Haymitch Abernathy and Effie Trinket were to go through the entire district and pick two people (a boy and a girl) between the ages of 12-18 to travel to a different district and learn a trade. They came every year, and every _Tribute_ that went inevitably found their way to prosperity and only returned to District 12 to collect their family. No Tribute had ever chosen to come to 12.  To her surprise, this year they chose her.

 

Her initial response was to refuse, which she did as firmly and rudely as she could.

 

“But…don’t you want a better life for yourself, dear?” Effie asked, understandably shocked as no one had refused before. “Every district has something wonderful to offer. Why, the Capitol will have opportunities you’d never —“

 

“Thanks, but no thanks,” she interrupted standing up, “I’ll just head back to class now.”

 

“Sit down.” Haymitch said, speaking for the first time since she arrived.

 

She immediately stiffened at the command she heard. “You can go f—”

 

“Language!” Effie chided. “Perhaps we were mistaken in our assessment.”

 

“Aw hell, Effie. We both heard about that attitude.”

 

“Be that as it may, if she hasn’t the sense to even see what a dream come true this is—”

 

“Look, why don’t you go find yourself an overly complicated caffeinated beverage, leave sweetheart over there to me.”

 

With one last glance at her and a baffled shake of her head, she left them.

 

“You’ll have to excuse her. She’s Capitol stock, born and bred. To someone like her, staying in a place like 12 when you have a chance to leave is something she’ll never really understand. She still doesn’t get why I keep coming back.”

 

She studied him for a moment, “Just because you lived here once, doesn’t mean you know anything about me or my life, Mr. Abernathy.”

 

“Maybe, but I did my homework before we approached you. Whenever anyone comes to you, begs you for food, you give it to them. When you can’t have much to begin with. Why?”

 

She shrugged, “Because I know what it’s like to be starving to death and have someone do something about it at the cost of a beating.”

 

“So, you’re not refusing our offer because of pride. Why then? Surely you know that the skills you’d learn and the trade you’d pick up would mean at least financial stability for you and your family. So why?”

 

She thought about her reasons for staying. Her sister needed her. Without her many people at the Seam would go hungry. Then there was _him_. But really, none of those were why she didn’t want to go.

 

“I already have skills and a trade. We are far from being financially stable, but we get by.”

 

For awhile, though things weren’t exactly alright (she doubted they’d ever be alright again) they were stable. District 12 provided the coal that not only powered the trains that brought trade between the districts but also heated the homes and businesses all over Panem, as such the government provided a monthly stipend to the families of the miners who died in the same accident that took her father. Every month their stipend was just barely enough to get by (even before they added mother’s medicine and the shots for Prim’s damn cat). So, she began hunting again. With her father’s bow, she ventured into the forest to hunt, often skipping school to do so. When Gale Hawthorne joined her, trading tips and skills, together they made sure that their families never went hungry.   

 

In addition to game she also began to scavenge for roots, berries and herbs. Her mother used the plants and herbs in her apothecary, her sister made jam from the berries as well as selling milk from her goat, while she sold the meats, furs and such to either traveling tradesmen or to merchants. It was a bartering system that had served her well.

 

Haymitch sat back in his chair. “Boy, you really aren’t what I expected. Well, someone’s got to go, sweetheart and Effie’s liable to pick some girl off the slag heap.”

 

So, she did one of the hardest things she’d ever done.

 

“Me?” Prim was shocked. At just 12, she had little hope of being chosen for the Careers Program.

 

“Katniss tells us you have a gift for healing, dear.” Effie spoke to her kindly. “I know just the school for you. You’ll be a doctor before long, I’m sure.”

 

So, they packed her up and sent her off with promises to write and to visit. As part of the program, not only were her expenses taken care of, but she’d begin working while she studied. Though it hurt her heart to send her off, she knew that this would be giving Prim her best chance.

 

(%)(%)(%)

 

Not long after, she found herself staring down the barrel and another life-changing moment.

 

Gale Hawthorne. Her hunting partner, and her dearest friend. He was chosen for the Careers Program, and was moving to District 5.

 

“Come with me, Catnip.”

 

She rolled her eyes at the nickname. “They already picked Madge Undersee, Gale.”

 

“Family can go, too.”

 

She looked him, confused. “But we’re not related.”

 

He hesitated, before taking both her hands in his. “We would be if we got married. Marry me, Katniss.”

 

She’d heard the gossip. People had paired them together since they were kids. With all that they had in common and with how much time they spent together, everyone assumed it was just a matter of time. If she still had Prim, she might’ve considered it. Marrying Gale and moving to District 5, would’ve meant that neither of them would need to worry about not having enough for the mouths they had to feed.

 

 And she loved him. Of course, she loved him. But not that way. He was her brother. She just couldn’t. Even if it meant she lost him. Even if it meant she lived the rest of her life alone. She couldn’t marry him.

 

He mistook her silence for shyness, and was bending his head to kiss her. Her first kiss. _No. Not you._ A panicked voice in her head whispered. Unthinking, she raised her arms and pushed him back. Losing his balance, he fell into the fence behind him, which broke under his weight.

 

“Gale! Oh, I’m so sorry!”

 

When he sat up, instead of being angry as she expected, he just looked at her and smiled sadly. “No, don’t be sorry, Katniss. I know how you feel. I’ve always known. But I had to try.”

 

Her eyes began to sting with tears. “I don’t want to lose you, Gale.”

 

He laughed softly. “Oh, Catnip. You’ll never lose me.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. When he bent his head again, it was to whisper in her ear. “You know, it’s really okay for there to be times when you stop putting everyone else first, and just do what’s best for you. Tell him how you feel, I promise you won’t regret it.”

 

She blinked when he stepped away. _How did he know?_

 

He just smiled. “I’ve seen the way you look at him, when you think no one’s looking.”

 

Life slowly went on, and slowly got better. She saved enough to open a shop in the merchant side of town, coincidentally right across from a certain bakery.

 

(%)(%)(%)

 

 _This time I’ll talk to her. Today for sure._ Peeta looked out the window to the shop across the street. The Hob. Katniss had set up shop the month before, and still made the walk between town and her house at the Seam. They either sold goods or traded. He watched her come in every morning, as she often opened up her shop as he was getting the bread made, and as she left for home at night.

 

Every day was an opportunity. Every day he tried to build up the courage. At the end of the day he promised himself that the next day would be when he finally did it.

 

Peeta, by nature, was a giver. It may have begun in part to avoid the attention of a cruel mother, but even when she passed, he still didn’t ask for anything. Instead, he tried to go above and beyond for both his customers and his family.

 

There was only ever one thing he truly wanted. One quiet wish he clutched tightly to his heart.

 

Katniss Everdeen.

 

All his life he was drawn to her. He held his breath when he heard she was picked for the Careers Program, and again when he heard Gale Hawthorne intended to marry her. Was ashamed at the relief he felt when she stayed and turned him down. He felt he was slowly running out of chances, and if he didn’t act soon someone else would.

 

“Oh, look. The mooney-eyed prince returns.”

 

He was pulled out of his thought by the teasing comment. “You’re in early today, Delly.”

 

Delly, had been his dearest friend since before either of them could walk. She was also his sister since she married his older brother. The former gave her a front seat at his infatuation with Katniss, and the latter gave her the influence to push him. Which she tried to do regularly.

 

“But of course. I couldn’t miss today’s Everlark episode.”

 

He raised a brow. “Everlark?”

 

Her blonde hair bounced as she nodded. “That what we call you two. Rye and I have a bet going on how long before you two get together. My money’s on sometime before Christmas.”

 

He shook his head. “Pretty sure she doesn’t even know I exist. Why would she?” Though, sometimes he thought he felt her eyes on him, she was never looking his way when he glanced up.

 

“Of all the places she could have set up shop, she chose the one across the street. Don’t you think that means something?”

 

He tried not to get his hopes up like that. He shrugged. “It’s a good location, that’s all.”

  

“So you’re saying if Hawthorne came back and made another pitch, you’ll just let it happen?”

 

He winced, still remembering the scene he had haplessly witnessed, of the two of them about to kiss. He’d turned away rather than have that in his memory banks. “I have way too much to do. Between keeping up with the bakery, and making sure Dad’s being taken care of—”

 

He started at the hand on his shoulder. “You know, it’s really okay for there to be times when you stop putting everyone else first, and just do what’s best for you.”

 

He smiled at her. It wasn’t the first time she’s said that to him, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

He spent the rest of the day going back and forth between the kitchen and helping Delly at the front counter. During the busier seasons, he usually had a few more hands, but most days they got by with just the two of them.

 

Inevitably, he’d catch himself looking across the street, hoping to catch a glimpse of Katniss. Between the myriad of expressions he’d seen play across her face and the rich tones of her skin, she was a feast for his artistic eye. He hoped to paint her one day, but all the colors in the world would hardly do her beauty justice. Besides, if he couldn’t even drum up the nerve to talk to her…

 

It was near closing when he noticed her on a ladder grappling with large wooden sign. Every store on the street had a place above their door for a sign to hang to be easily seen from afar, and it looked like she had finally gotten one made.

 

He could tell right away, however, that the sign was probably much heavier than she anticipated and the chain for the sign much higher. She was on the top rung when he saw the ladder start to lean backwards. She was going to fall!

 

He was out the door faster than he could blink, miraculously catching her just as she slipped off the ladder.

 

He found he breath knocked from his chest, both from her slight weight and fright of what might’ve happened.

 

“A-Are you alright, Katniss?”  He asked over the thundering of his heart.

 

“I-I think so.” Shocked grey eyes met his, and for a moment they just stood like that. She was just as warm and soft as he thought. His felt his face heat at the direction his thoughts went.

 

Clearing his throat, he set her down. “I have a sturdier ladder in the back you can use.”

He brought it out to her, and held it steady as she climbed it.

 

“Looks good.” He commented, as they both stood back surveyed the newly hung sign

 

She nodded, standing closely next to him. “Thank you, Peeta…and thank you for saving me.”

 

He smiled, “You’re welcome.”

 

It was the beginning of what would be the most selfish thing either of them had ever done: falling in love.

 (%)(%)(%)

 

 

 


End file.
